Part 6: Layout, Appearance, Submission
General Tips for the overall layout and appearance of your report, guaranteeing that your report gets noticed. These tips for report submission can make you and your report look good! Includes useful and never-heard-before (ha, ha) excuses when you're handing it in too late.
"I am an env-iron-mentalist."
Hand in your report with the pages held together by a wooden clothpeg. This is a sign of your individuality, disrepect of authorities and a statement against... erm... plastic clothpegs, probably. In other words, it makes you appear way cool.
"Huh, paper size?"
Make sure the pages are all of different size - having all of them in standard letter size would be way too boring!
"But I don't have a stapler...."
Do not staple your pages. Rather use paper clips. This ensures that your report will inevitably fall apart. Why is this good? Because you can then claim that important pages have been lost which contained all the good stuff.
"20 graphs, thus 20 pages!"
Attach all figures as separate pages, with one graph per page, so it looks nice and neat. After all, you wouldn't want to get marks off for cluttering text and figures on the same page.
"My new puter and printer kicks ass!"
If you have a color printer, make sure you create a fancy colourful title page produced on 1440-dpi glossy photo paper. This will leave a good impression because your teacher will notice the individuality, artistic talent, financial freedom and unlimited time resources necessary to produce artwork of that kind.
What to say when you're late with your report
- I couldn't remember the number of my bicycle lock.
- My printer had a problem, no, really!
- My brother ate my dog (which ate my report).
- My disk had a read error, I swear.. seriously, the year is 2005 and I am still using floppy disks!
- My friend withheld important data.
- Pretty pretty please.
- My computer runs a version of Windows and it crashed and I had to redo everything by hand (I believe the bit about the crash).
- I saw my boyfriend with another girl and had to sort things out first.
- I was on my way here, but my bag with the lab report was mistakenly redirected to Uzbekistan.
The End.
Flames, thanks, hate and love mail? Contact Dr Weichselbaum
February 16, 2006 @ 1:50 am
chris jones said,
Brilliant!!!!!!!!! Seen and heard most of this myself, as a teacher…….
March 5, 2006 @ 9:08 am
Julie said,
Great website. Very hand for projects.
May 11, 2006 @ 5:29 pm
Bronwyn Higgs said,
Thanks so much for your site. I roared with laughter. I teach business here at Victoria University - and we experience exactly the same problems with […] more
February 8, 2007 @ 11:12 pm
Caroline Grim said,
Your website was excellent. The information was useful both for a masters class I am taking and I think my students at school would enjoy and benefit […] more
August 28, 2007 @ 4:21 am
Kristina said,
*smirks* I seem to remember using several of the above excuses *smirks*
September 5, 2007 @ 11:21 am
Nana said,
I spent last 2 hours browsing your website, it\’s breathtaking.